i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
