do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
