i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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