i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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