Nicole vs. Life
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
