wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
