I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
