It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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