Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
