I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
