I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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