You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This show inspires me to have sex in space
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
