i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
