my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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