The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
