Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
