In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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