In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
