I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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