bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
