"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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