I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
