So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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