This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
