miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm both gender and math confused
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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