It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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