i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
