What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
