When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i dont even know how to be here
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
