Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
