Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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