Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sext me about skeletons
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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