Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
