Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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