I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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