The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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