That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
