cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
