I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
