Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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