So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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