your room smells of hookers.
And success
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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