then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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