Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
