Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
porn star boner night. come get it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
