I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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