This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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