Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
