trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
