I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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