how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
