I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
