Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
