why didn't you poke me back
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
